Dealing with Weight Loss Jealousy

I originally received this Newsletter from Bob Green's site www.thebestlife.com and then NaKesia forwarded it to me. This is a real issue and I am so glad it has been addressed! Enjoy!

~CRay~

By Liz Plosser

We’re into the second month of 2009 and you’re undoubtedly surrounded by folks—at work, the gym, even at home—who put losing weight and getting healthy at the top of their resolution lists (maybe you did, too). And perhaps you’re experiencing some tinges of jealousy as the scale seems to creep slowly for you while a spouse, sibling or friend cruises toward her goal weight. "We all have different genes, different metabolisms and different body types, so we'll have variation with the ease or difficulty we experience losing weight," says Aldo Pucci, M.D., a psychiatrist at Rational Living Therapy in Weirton, West Virginia, and President of the National Association of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapists. Still, it's hard not to turn green with envy when your best friend tells you how many pounds she's lost—a lot, naturally—since the last time you spoke. Try these tips to keep your jealousy in check.

Be happy for your friend. Pretending you don't care won't erase your resentment. Start by acknowledging how you're feeling—a little envious. Then try to let it go or move past it by drumming up something positive to say to your friend, even a simple, "that's great!"

Change the subject. The next time your pal launches into the euphoric details of her latest weigh-in, simply congratulate her on her success and then bring up another topic. Have a few at the ready, such as some new office gossip or the latest crazy plot twist on your favorite TV show.

Use her as an example. While genetics (body mass, resting metabolism, etc.) and body chemistry (hormone levels) play a big role in the number on the scale, behavior is also important. Look at your friend's diet and exercise plan and see if there's anything you can learn from her. Does she have a proven strategy for ignoring the siren song of the vending machine every afternoon? Has she found an awesome new gym class that makes her more motivated to work out?

Forget about fairness. "How easy it is for someone else is irrelevant," Pucci explains. In fact, dwelling on their success can thwart your own. "When you focus on other people, you may find your resolve weakening because you feel it's unfair that you have to work so hard while weight loss seems to come so easily to others," he says. Remove the three words, "It's not fair" from your vocabulary, Pucci advises.

Remember your goals. The absolute most important thing to remember is why you want to lose weight. "Do you want to fit into clothes you haven't been able to wear in years, attract a partner, or make it up a flight of stairs without breathing heavily?" Pucci asks. "Remind yourself exactly why you want to lose weight and don't forget that it's simply the means to a greater goal—not a number on the scale."